


Remembrance

by MavenfreakingCalore



Category: Red Queen Series - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Angst, Birthday, Character Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Sad Ending, cal calore needs a hug bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MavenfreakingCalore/pseuds/MavenfreakingCalore
Summary: Cal remembers Maven on his birthday
Relationships: Mare Barrow/Maven Calore, Mare Barrow/Tiberias "Cal" Calore VII, Maven Calore/Thomas
Comments: 7
Kudos: 20





	Remembrance

He couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that seemed to be following him all day. Right when he had woken up, it was there. Like a cloud, full of rain, that wanted to pour.

He knew what day it was, and what today could’ve been. And despite the notion to get back in bed, to lay there all day and reminisce for the brother he once had, he got up and put on a brave face. 

The kids had no idea what was wrong with him, but their mother had told them to be easy on daddy today, and they listened. When he came to the kitchen and sat at the table, Coriane offered him a hug, which he took graciously, tears clouding his vision. Shade was too young to understand anything about emotions yet, but even he gave his dad a toothy smile, wishing him to feel better.

Cal normally blocked the thoughts from his memory, but when he looked at his son, all he thought about was the day he was born, and how all Cal wanted was to name him Maven. He knew it was a horrible idea, one that Mare would never be comfortable with. But Cal had wanted a way to honor his brother. And he never got the chance. 

It’s probably for the better, but he still wishes he could’ve done something. 

…}{… 

After he had eaten, he bid his wife and kids goodbye, telling Mare that he needed some time alone. She understood. 

Today wasn’t any easier on her, and for all different reasons. Maven had tortured her, chained her up and kept her hostage, and this day was only a reminder of it. A reminder of the person he was. But there was still that thought in her mind. The thought that she pushed away whenever it even tried to come up. The thought that had left her crying uncontrollably when the war had ended. 

_ What if. _

What if they had tried to help him. 

She knows he was unfixable, that he was gone and never would be himself again. She just wishes they had tried to find a way, instead of giving up so easily. Maybe it was rage that blinded her, like so many reds in that war that had so many reasons to kill him. But unlike them, she thought she knew him.

He had been her friend when she needed him the most. He had been the person she thought she could have loved. And she did love him. She misses what they had, and wishes with her whole being that it hadn’t been a lie. But it was. And he’s gone.

…}{… 

He didn’t turn the dropjet off immediately, letting the exhaust push away the fog covering the island. It was thicker than last year, probably due to the weather around this time. Although there wasn’t snow, December was always cold. 

When he got out, it took him a few moments to gather his thoughts and to think about what he was going to say. He came here every year, and he didn’t like to repeat things. 

Maven was always like that, he hated hearing the same things over and over again. And, even if he could hear Cal, if somehow an after life was possible, he wouldn’t want to bore him. 

The grave itself is covered in dirt, the etchings barely visible because of it. With his thumb, Cal cleans it out.

When Maven had died, he was asked what he wanted the gravestone to say, or if he even wanted one at all. And he didn’t know. Never once, in his entire life, had he thought about what his little brother’s grave would say. It just wasn’t something he needed to imagine. So, he had left it to Julien. He can’t say he likes what the stone says. But what saddens him, is the fact that it’s true.

Slowly, the words are uncovered, and Cal stares. 

Maven Calore

_ Beloved son, beloved brother. _

_ Let no one follow. _

He wishes he could turn back the clock, to go back in time and stop the horrible things Maven endured. If only he had noticed, if only he had  _ tried  _ to fix the person his brother became. Yes, he had looked for people like Elara, but maybe he didn’t need a whisper to undo the damage. Maybe all he needed was love.

Throughout Maven’s life, that was the one thing he always seemed to want. Which, if Cal thinks about it, he had at one point. 

During the war, Maven had Thomas. And though he has no idea what their relationship entailed, he knows that Maven loved him.

Then there was Mare. Maybe Maven believed he loved her, maybe it was just his mother messing with his mind. But there was something. Was it love? The simple answer is no, but that question isn’t so easy. Maven did horrible, unforgivable things, for something he thought was love. But if someone had actually taught him what that meant. If someone had shown him what love was, would things have been different?

Elara sure as hell was not the right person for that job. Sometimes, Cal wonders if even she knew what love was. 

He also wonders if Maven ever loved him.

When they were kids, he was sure he did. And, even as they got older, their relationship was strong. So what had happened? 

Maven was a damn good actor that’s for sure. 

In the end, though, Cal doesn’t know. He never will. 

He sits down next to the stone, setting his hand gently on his brother’s name.  
“Maven,” he starts, willing his voice not to crack. It feels embarrassing to even be doing this, like someone is watching him. “Do you remember your 7th birthday?”

He pauses as if someone is going to answer.

“We spent the entire day out in the snow. You had never built a snowman before, and I was trying to teach you how.” At this point the tears are blocking his sight, and he can see nothing but the outline of the gravestone. “You were getting mad because you couldn’t figure out how to roll the snow up, and I was getting so annoyed.” He stops to wipe his eyes, looking up toward the sky. “But in the end, when we finally had it built, both of us just shut up and stared at it, like it was the best thing in the world.” The memory flashes before his eyes and he can see him, Maven, laying down in the snow, laughing at something Cal had said. “I miss those days.”

He realizes he has nothing else to say and stands, wiping off his pant legs. It’s hard to leave this place when he comes. He hates the idea of his brother alone on this island. 

He’ll never get Maven back, and he’ll probably never have a relationship like that again. But, he has the memories. And he will keep them forever, remembering his brother the way he should be. As Mavey. 

…}{… 

Just before Cal gets back into the dropjet, he feels something wet on his nose. Looking up, his heart swells.

It’s snowing.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don’t like the way this turned out, but it feels wrong for me not to post on my baby’s birthday so...


End file.
